Principles of Social Learning*
Updated: Aug 2, 2020
*(collaborative project of 2017 teen girls' group: DB, IK, KK, KT)
1. Nobody’s perfect. (Social learning is not about trying to be perfect.)
2. Asserting ourselves, setting boundaries, and making healthy connections are examples of social learning goals. Fitting in and pleasing people, or “being more social” are not worthwhile or healthy social learning goals.
3. You don't have to be social in a standard way to be healthy & OK.
4. Some people have more social energy, some have less, at different times, and for different reasons. This is OK and needs to be respected.
5. Healthy people resist being over-controlled and over-corrected.
6. All feelings are OK and have a purpose. Including anger! AND, everyone has to learn how to deal with feelings, figure out where they come from, find out what they are trying to tell us, and what to do with them.
7. Don't judge people by what they can or cannot say out loud – or do.
8. We can and should be trusted with our own social learning. Having a voice in what we think is important to talk about is not something we should have to earn or get taken away as a punishment.
9. Teaching/learning social is a two-way street. It should be OK to (respectfully) teach the teacher. Good teachers are also good learners.
10. Everyone needs to learn social skills. It’s not automatic for anybody. Autistic people may need social learning help that is designed for their best ways of thinking. But non-autistic people may also need extra social learning help, including how to communicate and interact well with autistic people. We never completely stop having to teach people how to treat us.